#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick)
In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us.
“Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love
A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: Oprah Daily, The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Bloomberg, Parade
This is how you find yourself.
There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.
For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.
Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.
Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.
Serina Hertel –
I updated this review as I read…
By page 16, I’d already sobbed, laughed, sobbed, reconsidered who I am, how I live my life, and what I’m doing next, and cried again. So much fire lit. This is a masterpiece. Thank the universe (and Glennon) it published now. Lord knows we need this now. It is already one of my top favorite books ever, and I read a lot. Like, a LOT.
She talks about learning to access her own inner Knowing, which I had experienced as a miracle a few times in my life before I learned about this from the Guides in one of my other top books, I Am the Word by Paul Selig (and his other books). But this time I got a deeper, more practical grasp and inspiration around how and why to access that deeper knowing every day. She’s right that it only ever tells you just the next step… Kyle Cease talks about that exactly the same way, too.
I’m also feeling a revolution inside that I was already opening up to take full force… including the revolutionary wild act of feeling it all. Everything. FEELING pain, letting it burn, guide. She says, “I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.“
By page 89, it is 3:41 am, and with my two small children asleep near my bed, I quietly sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, as my heart broke open. As I FELT. I’ve barely cried in years. In decades. I’m usually just trying to disconnect and numb feelings enough to keep going, to fit in, to stay the course, everything is fine. I’m fine.
I’m not fine. Our world is no longer fine.
p115: my husband called me on video chat (we’re thousands of miles apart right now) and he said, “Whoa, you look different. You’re glowing.”
Fire. Burning. Feeling.
p133: Turns out cracking open and feeling all the feelings isn’t just pain. Deep, body shaking joy came to our house today. Car, actually. After a difficult to describe very intense session of 5 people all air-planing our take-out lasagna bites to each other in our parked car and absolutely laughing out assess off this afternoon, my six year old says to me tonight right before bed, “It was so, so nice to hear Mama laughing. I’d say it is better than getting a toy.”
P… somewhere after p 200 some major personal shifts and awakenings occurred… too personal to convey at this time.
P324 I’ve been running from my mother since I left for college. Really since I got a car in high school, and before that when I fell in love with my high school freshman boyfriend, who was also my best friend. I escaped into the safe shelter of his love and caring, laughter and companionship.
And now, at 37 years old, it’s time to stop. Because of this book. I can stop, be with it, with her. To let it burn. To face the pain, the triggers, and let the fire engulf me and burn away what was never real. To tell the truth, and face my mother with an open heart.
I just moved in with my mom last night. I’m literally quarantined in small house with just the two of us and my two small boys (6 and 3). For the first time in my whole life, I am not afraid.
Thank you Glennon. My God… thank you.
I’m now going to click the “beginning” button in my kindle and read it all again.
I’m a little nervous and excited… the wild way my life is cracking open… I have no idea how, maybe I was really ready… this book has immediately and shockingly changed everything, and given me the map for change with truth, freedom and grace. With love.
Yes to the heartbreak. Yes to the pain. Yes to love. Yes to myself and my life untamed, in truth.
I am free.
*Update 6/30/20
I was just reflecting on the lasting ways I have changed since I read this book, and a huge one is being now pretty deeply comfortable being with the full range of my feelings, and also my children’s feelings. From that place, I’m able to help my children feel safe being with and feeling all their very strong emotions and experiences. I can help them let it burn. I can’t protect them from uncomfortable feelings, thank god I don’t need to. I can be present with them as they feel, next to them. I’m here. Feelings are for feeling. We can be curious. We can lean in.
Asma –
This book is a review of the social standards we’ve grown up with, which have over time impacted how we perceive ourselves and those around us. It’s also a dose of self-love and a reminder to ground ourselves and find our true path, the one that makes our soul happy. I highly recommend it! I loved it and could read it several times over and over again!
Serina Hertel –
To give a light synopsis of my last week: I am a traveling nurse practitioner. I work in urgent care in WV while my home, spouse and family are in Kansas. I stay in a hotel. I battle loneliness, fatigue and homesickness. My anxiety is high due to the current coronavirus.
Enter Untamed: the one thing keeping me going during this whole thing. Glennon’s words and stories have been a balm for my soul. A battle cry. Permission to feel all my feelings about my current situation and about my life in general. Inspiration to keep going even when I am tired and anxious because nursing is what I’m here for. As G says, “find what your makes your heart ache and follow it”.
This book made me feel more seen than anything that I have ever heard or read (typing that just gave me shivery dots). To know that there are other canaries out there like Glennon and Tish comforted me so much. The reassurance that there is nothing wrong with me for being an empath and feeling life so deeply was a turning point for me.
As the spawn of two English Lit teachers, I am an underliner by nature. I should’ve just stopped because nearly the entire book is underlined :). I love that it is a collection of essays. Made it so easy to read one or two during a break or before bed at night.
Glennon, you are a breath of fresh air in a very scary time. I feel like you have taken the yoke off my shoulders hundreds of times over the course of reading this. Your consistent presence for your people is unmatched. You and Abby and your family are a testament to ‘doing hard things’, a phrase my best friend and I exchange a lot to keep each other going (I sent her a copy).
I will end with this: as G wrote about getting out of the cages that society has put us in, I thought of one of my favorite song lyrics many times. In ‘Brave’ Sara Bareilles sings “Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light in, show me how big your brave is”. I feel like these two creative contemporaries are lights in the darkness for us right now. Thank you, G, for this gem.
Bottom line: READ IT. Should be required reading for every female in my opinion.
Anna Soman –
Every parent should get this book a lit bit of a struggle first couple of chapters but very very good for the rest
Mnse –
Livro incrível em uma edição linda em capa dura. Chegou em perfeito estado 🙂
Debbie –
Hablar sobre la socializacion de las mujeres y la educación en un sistema patriarcal es simplemente revelador, ame cada momento de lectura
Agnes Costa –
Lecture