NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From the bestselling author of The Power of Habit, a fascinating exploration of what makes conversations work—and how we can all learn to be supercommunicators at work and in life
“A winning combination of stories, studies, and guidance that might well transform the worst communicators you know into some of the best.”—Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Hidden Potential
Come inside a jury room as one juror leads a starkly divided room to consensus. Join a young CIA officer as he recruits a reluctant foreign agent. And sit with an accomplished surgeon as he tries, and fails, to convince yet another cancer patient to opt for the less risky course of treatment. In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg blends deep research and his trademark storytelling skills to show how we can all learn to identify and leverage the hidden layers that lurk beneath every conversation.
Communication is a superpower and the best communicators understand that whenever we speak, we’re actually participating in one of three conversations: practical (What’s this really about?), emotional (How do we feel?), and social (Who are we?). If you don’t know what kind of conversation you’re having, you’re unlikely to connect.
Supercommunicators know the importance of recognizing—and then matching—each kind of conversation, and how to hear the complex emotions, subtle negotiations, and deeply held beliefs that color so much of what we say and how we listen. Our experiences, our values, our emotional lives—and how we see ourselves, and others—shape every discussion, from who will pick up the kids to how we want to be treated at work. In this book, you will learn why some people are able to make themselves heard, and to hear others, so clearly.
With his storytelling that takes us from the writers’ room of The Big Bang Theory to the couches of leading marriage counselors, Duhigg shows listeners how to recognize these three conversations—and teaches us the tips and skills we need to navigate them more successfully.
In the end, he delivers a simple but powerful lesson: With the right tools, we can connect with anyone.
Jay –
I teach a ministry of connection. This book will be a great addition of required reading in my teaching. Well written, easy to follow, and offers a path to change. I think it is extremely important in this time of polarity.
John Barleycorn –
Ik voel me een beetje belazerd als ik dit boek lees. Dat je naar een ander moet luisteren als je goed wil communiceren (en dat moet laten merken door diens worden samen te vatten!), en dat iemand soms alleen wil klagen en niet per se op zoek is naar oplossingen, is ongeveer de mate van open deuren die de hele tijd opnieuw worden herhaald door Duhigg. Ook is hij (zoals veel Amerikanen) niet bang om superlatieven te gebruiken. Een experiment waarbij voor en tegenstanders van wapenbezit (in de VS) met elkaar in gesprek gingen, wordt “one of the most powerful” dingen genoemd die iemand ooit heeft meegemaakt. Maar na oeverloze uiteenzettingen (die kunnen worden samengevat als: gebruik ik-boodschappen, en eerst luisteren en dan samenvatten!) blijf je underwhelmed achter. Het goede gesprek dat ontstond omdat de deelnemers werd gevraagd om persoonlijke ervaringen te delen, was van korte duur want vervolgens ging iedereen “gewoon” weer online verder met elkaar nazi’s te noemen. Ook doet duhigg allerlei aannames (bijv. dat onze hersengolven alignen als we een goed gesprek voeren)(en dat in succesvolle huwelijken de partners niet elkaar proberen te beheersen maar zichzelf) en presenteert die als “bewezen door onderzoek”, maar als ik dit bespreek met vrienden die in deze velden werken, zeggen ze dat deze stellingen nog zeker niet voldoende bewezen zijn en vooral nog in het stadium van hypothesen zitten die worden onderzocht. Ook wordt zijn titel supercommunicators, niet waargemaakt. In het begin gaat hij kort in op het fenomeen dat sommige mensen supercommunicatieskills zouden hebben, maar dit verwatert direct en komt later niet meer terug. Al met al voelt dit boek als een verspilling van mijn tijd.
Kindle Customer –
I deeply admire the author of what he did. As he says at the end, he wrote this book for himself, after at some moment in his life he realized how little he knew about communicating and connecting with others and listening to them. He did much active research, talking not only with actual researchers, but also pursuing some interesting events where communication comes to the fore, and interviewing people involved. After all of this, he wrote the book, which I would consider brilliant.
The book discusses several aspects of communication and several types of communication. Throughout the book, we go through negotiations, conflicts, emotional conversations, etc. The book’s goal never happens to make someone manipulative or teach him how to successfully acquire his goals by influencing by successful speech. It is all about genuine, deep connection with others. About realizing similarities between us in the face of a conflict, about sharing our emotions and seeking others’ with curiosity, and about understanding each other. This may sound like an overly idealistic vision, but the author convinced me it is possible and advantageous.
The way of narration in the book is simple, but interesting, and does a job. I would say that each chapter has two different narrative lines. The first line is to tell some interesting story, which constitutes a background for the discussed topic, and at the same time greatly engages the reader. The second line is a more scientific one, where we explore research and psychological experiments on the topic. The two lines intertwine in a very engaging way. We get some portion of the story, and then we get a small cliffhanger, get some portion of knowledge, and go on with the story again. It may be simple, but it does a job of making the book engaging, interesting, as well as substantive. I also have to say that some chapters, especially those about emotions, moved me deeply.
Each chapter gives something new to the topic. I feel like each of them is important. Besides longer chapters, deeply analysing a particular subject, there are also some smaller ones, telling what can we do to apply learned ideas in our daily life. Those chapters will probably serve well for me to review the content of the book in the future. Both types of chapters complement each other in the sense that by reading the longer ones we can understand the importance of the matter, while the shorter ones tell us what to do with this knowledge.
I think this book can be very valuable for everyone. I expect however that some people, who prefer to just get synthesized knowledge in a quick, clear, and mostly scientific way, may be bored with the narration of the book. I like this kind of narration. I would even consider it brilliant.
It was a great, very valuable, and deeply moving journey.
Reviews by Dro –
I recently heard about “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” on a podcast, and it intrigued me enough to make it the starting point of my reading journey. I couldn’t be happier with my choice!
From the very first chapter, this book has been a revelation. The authors delve into the art of effective communication in a way that is both insightful and practical. They break down complex concepts into easily digestible parts, making it perfect for someone like me who is just getting back into reading.
One of the standout features of “Supercommunicators” is its actionable advice. The book doesn’t just theorize about communication; it provides real-world examples and strategies that I can apply immediately in my daily life. Whether it’s at work, with family, or among friends, the tips and techniques have already started to make a noticeable difference in how I connect with others.
The writing style is engaging and relatable, keeping me hooked from page to page. The authors’ passion for the subject shines through, making it an enjoyable read rather than a dry instructional manual. They emphasize the importance of empathy, active listening, and authenticity, which are all crucial elements in building meaningful connections.
What I love most about this book is its universal applicability. No matter your profession or personal background, “Supercommunicators” offers valuable insights that can help anyone become a better communicator. It’s empowering to realize that effective communication is a skill that can be learned and refined.
Overall, “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” has been a fantastic start to my reading journey. It’s a book that I know I’ll return to time and again for guidance and inspiration. If you’re looking to improve your communication skills and build stronger connections, this book is an absolute must-read!
Sebastian Kretzschmar –
Very readable, with clear references. Persuasion/Negotiation/Mediation – if these form part of your work or life, this book should prove helpful. I usially find the narrative, informal way of writing case studies to be annoying and “American” (not sure how many of these books start with a story about post 911 counter-terrorism, feels like a lot) – but here the message is clear, and the footnotes are transparent about how the “story” element has been presented. Is there such a thing as a “Supercommunicator”? I dont know – though sone people are damn good at what they do – and this book provides a lot of insights.
Mario Cárdenas –
For around a year end a half my readings have mainly focused on communication and psychology. This book summed and helped me with my understanding of those books and is really fun to read
ArielHaubner –
I have read and listened to Duhigg’s thoughtful, thorough masterpiece twice in the last 5 weeks, and already feel a shift in the kinds of conversations I am having. I feel more space to ask why in charged conversations with my partner, and a renewed desire to make connections a central thread in my daily life. A beautiful, helpful manual to deepen relationships in every walk of life.
Chris –
I’d say the first 75% of this book has some very good info in it, but then it seemed to go off the rails talking about the COVID/Vaccine hesitancy dynamic. For one, I didn’t find the tips the author was trying to use through this conversation, but secondly I thought the subject matter was still “to be determined” on which approach was correct on Covid vaccines. Plus, he made several mentions to why the patients were niave/wrong but made no mention to why those patients were not as trusting of the medical field to begin with (they took the bait from Big Pharma opioid epidemic, why should we trust them to do their due diligence on these rushed to the market COVID vaccines?)
I thought the author did try to “land the plane” pretty effectively by taking all views into consideration on the DEI conversations, but even that I could see a lot of readers who think not enough is being discussed about diversity will be irritated that Duhigg gave compelling arguments for both sides on that.
Overall, I thought it was a decent book but felt like the last 25% brought down a very good first 3/4 of the book. I’d just stay away from any COVID talk in books unless it’s a main subject! The risk outweighs the reward!
Erin –
Interesting and relevant whether or not you agree with all of the conclusions in the book.
Sebastian Kretzschmar –
“Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” von Charles Duhigg ist ein herausragendes Werk, das sich mit den Feinheiten und der Macht der Kommunikation in unserer zunehmend digitalisierten Welt beschäftigt.
Duhigg bekannt für seine Fähigkeit, komplexe Themen zugänglich und interessant zu machen, liefert hier wertvolle Einsichten und praktische Tipps, wie man seine Kommunikationsfähigkeiten verbessern kann.
Ein besonderes Highlight des Buches ist das Kapitel über “Emotionale Intelligenz in der Kommunikation”. Duhigg erklärt, wie das Verständnis und die Nutzung emotionaler Signale die Qualität und Tiefe unserer Interaktionen erheblich verbessern können.
Für IT-Berater, die oft technische Sachverhalte erklären und mit verschiedenen Stakeholdern interagieren müssen, ist diese Fähigkeit besonders wertvoll.
Indem sie lernen, emotionale Hinweise zu erkennen und darauf einzugehen, können sie Missverständnisse vermeiden, Vertrauen aufbauen und effektivere Beziehungen zu ihren Kunden und Kollegen entwickeln.
Das Buch bietet nicht nur theoretische Grundlagen, sondern auch konkrete Strategien und Techniken, die sofort anwendbar sind. Diese Ansätze sind nicht nur im IT-Bereich, sondern generell in jeder beruflichen und persönlichen Interaktion nützlich. Für mich Dienst das Buch als und eine Schlüsselrolle in der Gestaltung erfolgreicher und harmonischer Beziehungen spielt.
Amazon Customer –
Good read