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Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir
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Original price was: $29.99.$14.99Current price is: $14.99.
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“This bookis so many things I didn’t know I needed: a testament to the work of healing, a raw howl of anger, and an indictment of misogyny’s insipid, predictable, infuriating reign.” —Carmen Maria Machado, author of the National Book Award finalist Her Body and Other Parties and the Lambda Literary Award winner In the Dream House
A powerful memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women.
In early 2021, popular artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of crippling anxiety, depression, and self-harm. Over two weeks, she underwent myriad psychological tests, participated in numerous therapy sessions, connected with fellow patients and experienced profound breakthroughs, such as when a doctor noted, “There is a you inside that feels invisible to those looking at you from the outside.”
In Men Have Called Her Crazy, Tendler recounts her hospital experience as well as pivotal moments in her life that preceded and followed. As the title suggests, many of these moments are impacted by men: unrequited love in high school; the twenty-eight-year-old she lost her virginity to when she was sixteen; the frustrations and absurdities of dating in her mid-thirties; and her decision to freeze her eggs as all her friends were starting families.
This stunning literary self-portrait examines the unreasonable expectations and pressures women face in the 21st century. Yet overwhelming and despairing as that can feel, Tendler ultimately offers a message of hope. Early in her stay in the hospital, she says, “My wish for myself is that one day I’ll reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself.” By the end of the book, she fulfills that wish.
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Categories: Women Writers
Product name:
Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir
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Original price was: $29.99.$14.99Current price is: $14.99.
Tash –
I followed Anna because of her photography. Her experiences with mental health are heartbreaking and relatable for me personally. We physically manifest our mental issues the same and have had unreliable experiences with mental health professionals.
She obviously wrote this book with the assumption that anyone reading would already know about her marriage/divorce, which, going into it, I DID NOT. Clearly I was in the minority on this. I knew from her photo series that she’d gone through a divorce, but not the details.
I had to look her up mid-read because in a memoir detailing numerous relationships with men, I found it inexplicable that her crumbling marriage was never mentioned outside of being a ‘crumbling marriage.’ There’s no indication of what her husband or her marriage were like, and it became increasingly clear that I was missing something. Now I know.
I understand why she left it out. People would have wanted the intimate details of a ‘juicy’ celebrity divorce and that’s all anyone would care about. There’s no ‘name changed to protect the guilty’ where her husband would be concerned, and she undoubtedly has her reasons for keeping those experiences to herself. In the end she doesn’t have to go into details she doesn’t want to. The book is about her, not him.
However, by entirely avoiding the topic, she leaves out some pretty relevant context. I don’t think it’s disrespectful to acknowledge the reality of that. As a reader, I don’t know if I’m supposed to assume her marriage was similar to the other relationships she had and I don’t know how the experience of being married to a celebrity shaped her. I had to make assumptions about that situation and fill in a lot of blanks about HER life, which really shouldn’t be required considering she’s right there telling us her story. It felt like a lack of openness compared to other parts of the book, and created a detachment that I found difficult to get past.
I would have loved to hear how she gained financial independence post-divorce. Or how she was able to repair her relationship with eating. Or how she was able to move on and find it in herself to trust new mental health professionals after the blindsiding experiences and diagnoses her care team put her through. She describes some experiences in so much detail and other things happen with very little resolution or aftermath aside from throwaway lines later on. It did make me wonder why she chose to leave some of these things out.
As women, we’ve all had terrible experiences with men in all aspects of life. I occasionally found myself struggling with Anna’s blatant dislike/disregard of men throughout the book. She seems to blame random men for the patriarchy and the misogyny she’s faced and there are times it comes off as pettiness rather than a sympathetic or understandable reaction. But as a woman I can understand and I tried to keep an open mind – it’s her story and what she was experiencing at the time and how she was feeling and those feelings aren’t supposed to be right or wrong.
Overall I did enjoy learning her story and I relate all too well to some of her mental health struggles. I admire her for sharing such personal details of her hospital stay and the difficulties she had with her mother. I also admire how she’s been able to channel her pain and her strength into such beautiful art. I guess in the end I wanted learn more about her personal reinvention after her breakdown and hospitalization and less about short-lived relationships with random guys she met on dating apps.
CM –
I love her photography so was compelled to read this memoir. She understands her extraordinary privilege and provides a genuine reflection of her mental health issues and trauma. Not everyone will relate to the context in which she has lived and may be turned off by her vast white privilege. Although I could have been turned off, instead I found myself appreciating her authentic, highly imperfect self and the writing which felt like one of her art pieces
AliciasAmazon –
An absolutely incredible book. A true look into the many frustrating aspects of the female experience from a really vulnerable and poignant perspective. That whole last chapter but especially when going over her charts from the hospital was just gorgeous. I’m simply in awe of this woman and the things she’s overcome and continues to work through and how beautiful she articulated all of it in this book
Eleanor Richards –
I didn’t know much about Anna Marie Tendler’s life, and I found this memoir absolutely fascinating. It’s well-written and tightly-paced, and I read it in one sitting. It made me cry and laugh, and I walked away having a lot of admiration for Anna. Definitely a great summer read that you will devour…
Dee –
I am looking forward to this book and can’t bear to one star it, however I have yet to read it as there is an issue with the kindle edition (have tried across two devices). It is four pages long and contains none of the text.
Dee –
Current kindle edition is 4 pages long instead of the 320 promised. I have returned for a refund.
The kindle price has gone up since yesterday from £9.99 to over £14 for an e-book which seems very expensive.
*TUDOR^QUEEN* –
This is a memoir from a woman who sought out therapy and hospitalization at a facility for mental problems which included cutting, depression, and anxiety. I enjoyed reading about the small cluster of women with whom she shared her treatment, hearing about the therapy, arts & crafts, gardening, and rules and routines of the house. A recurrent theme was her distrust of men. There were some spare references to a marriage, but I was utterly confused since practically nothing was written about it. However, she did discuss various men she had dated throughout the years, and these passages were quite interesting. It was only when I glanced at some other reader reviews that I learned that this author had been married to someone famous. I honestly thought this was just a random memoir from someone who navigated mental illness. I can’t quite put my finger on why I felt a slight disconnect while reading this book. Maybe it was the mysterious gap in the story involving her marriage that left me feeling disengaged.
Thank you to the publisher Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
Veronica R Ewing –
I deeply relate to the emotions, life, and experiences that Anna Tendler shares so vulnerably in this wonderful memoir. If you, as a woman, have ever felt misunderstood, or taken advantage of by the men in your life, you might really relate to this book. My one complaint, and it’s really minor – because honestly this is her story and she can tell us what she wants and keep private what she doesn’t want us to know – I wished for a bit more reflection on how she took back financial control of her life and was able to detach herself from always being so dependent on others.
Katie –
I cried as I read this book. Anna’s experiences with anger growing up closely mirrored my own. Her takes on early 2000s culture and misogyny are so poignant and relevant, I was truly engrossed by this book.
She is the kind of writer you hope continues and creates more, her writing is a gift to the world. I can’t recommend this book enough, if you’re feeling lost and unable to move forward in your life.