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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
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Original price was: $30.00.$16.99Current price is: $16.99.
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INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!
Now being developed as a television series with Eva Longoria and ABC!
“Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing.”—Katie Couric
“This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book.”—Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global
“Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book.”—Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet
From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist’s world—where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.
With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.
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Categories: Women Writers
Product name:
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
Price:
Original price was: $30.00.$16.99Current price is: $16.99.
Scott Herb H –
I rarely give five stars; it is well earned in this case.
Superficially, this is a wonderful, readable story.. The writing is fantastic,, each character unique and their journeys, all of them, so interesting and compelling.
yet there is so much more than a great story here..
I will reread this immediately in an effort to more closely appreciate the subtle tips and processes used to better see the reality of hidden issues we struggle with. Through a therapist lense we see many different patients and many different problems and issues. Keys / strategies to see and identify the issues we struggle with and a better view to interpret these issues are demonstrated using basic terms and easy to understand scenarios. The characters, their problems and stories are familiar and relatable. We see real life examples of how past experiences sabotage our current reactions to new experiences. The reader needs only to carefully examine their own life to gain (almost certainly!) better understanding and with that insight, an informed clarity with which to newly see their own life
This is not a “self help” book; its not that simple. To really appreciate the benefits, it will take far more reflection and personal candor to find the guidance to improve or help yourself. The map is there if you choose to dig for it.
Ultimately, what I came to find I may have missed on my first pass. Even so, if its only that one issue that eludes me, there is still a vast treasure worth uncovering within these stories. And if your not looking for anything more than a good book, these stories are beautiful, personal and so moving. Its a great read!
Schizanthus Nerd –
Do you know how difficult it is to whisper an ugly cry? I do. There I was at 3:30am, relaxed and enjoying the insight and surprising humour of this book, caught up in a ‘just one more chapter’ loop. Then, out of nowhere, I was ugly crying as quietly as possible so I didn’t wake up the sensible people in my home, those who actually sleep when it’s considered an acceptable time to do so. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly ‘out of nowhere’; I knew it was coming at some stage with that particular patient but I wasn’t expecting it right then.
That wasn’t the only time I cried during this book (there may have been another four tissue grabs and some very dignified sniffling involved) and it wasn’t the only time my tears caught me off guard (who knew I’d cry about the patient I initially loved to sneer at!) but it did remind me of some of the reasons why I never formally used my psychology degree.
Reason #1: Although I don’t cry a lot about my own stuff, I am a champion crier when it comes to pretty much anything else. Movies. TV shows. Songs. Books. When you cry about your stuff. When I think about your stuff and consider how brave, resilient, [insert any number of adjectives here] you were, are or are going to be. Who wants to come to therapy and feel like they need to console their therapist about their reaction to their patient’s problems?!
Reason #2: There would be certain types of people and life experiences where I just know I couldn’t remain impartial.
Reason #3: The goodbyes. See Reason #1.
Full disclosure: I started reading this book while my own therapist was on leave. Besides confirming my decision to not actually be a therapist (you’re so welcome, all of the people whose lives would have crossed my path in this way. I hope you found a Wendell instead!) I also got a glimpse of what it’s like behind the scenes for therapists, something I’ve always been interested in, something that’s difficult to obtain because of that pesky ‘confidentiality’ thing.
I’m not ashamed to say that I have my very own Wendell, who is awesome, by the way. None of us get out of life unscathed and I think pretty much everyone could benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. One of the perks this book offers is a therapeutic ‘try before you buy’; if you’ve been considering therapy but are hesitant to schedule that initial appointment, then reading this book will give you some idea of what to expect – from the therapist, from the experience, and how it looks when it’s done right.
“Sitting-with-you-in-your-pain is one of the rare experiences that people get in the protected space of a therapy room, but it’s very hard to give or get outside of it”
I enjoyed Lori’s down to earth approach, her compassion and ability to bring truth to a situation, while still making me smile along the way. She humanises our experience of pain and even when she’s talking about her own therapy, her insight and openness had me smiling in recognition much more frequently than the narrative made me cry.
Of her own therapy: “Yes, I’m seeking objectivity, but only because I’m convinced that objectivity will rule in my favor.”
Of her therapist: “He looks at me meaningfully, like he just said something incredibly important and profound, but I kind of want to punch him.”
A quote I love: “defenses serve a useful purpose. They shield people from injury … until they no longer need them.
It’s in this ellipsis that therapists work.”
And another: “People often mistake numbness for nothingness, but numbness isn’t the absence of feelings; it’s a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings.”
Oh, and I have to share this one too: “When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists. But if we spend the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret.”
I highlighted so many passages in this book that each time I started another binge read it felt like I was experiencing my very own mini therapy session. I saw myself in Lori and in her patients, even the initial ‘love to sneer at’ one, probably because I saw something of myself in them as well. I saw my own therapist in Wendell and felt probably too much pride in having found myself such an amazing ‘Wendell’ to help me navigate my presenting problem as well as the real issues behind the facade.
From the presenting problem to the “doorknob disclosures”, “what-aboutery” and self-sabotage, all the way to the “termination” (seriously, can therapists collectively find a less aggressive way to label someone’s graduation from therapy?), I ‘just one more chaptered’ my way through this book.
Although at times I felt voyeuristic, have some outstanding questions about Lori’s patients I’m not entitled to know but still want to (Would you please tell me John’s real name or at least the name of the TV show you kept referencing so I can binge watch it?) and had at least one ugly cry headache as a result of reading this book, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to pretty much anyone.
Much like the way Lori talks about who therapy can’t help, I think the only people who wouldn’t benefit in some way by reading this book are those “who aren’t curious about themselves.”
I’ll leave you with what’s currently my favourite quote: “There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.”
Content warnings are included in my Goodreads review.
Alissa –
I read this book over two days and it’s going to be one of those books that sticks with you- one that you think of in the aftermath of your life. One of those books that will continue to affect you. Excellent writing and story telling!!!
omer –
Great book I enjoyed every page, I do think the ending feels a little bit rushed. I really enjoyed it It makes you consider therapy.
BarbSM –
Beautifully written loved this book. The Store is quite catching from the start and filled with good advice..must read c
Courtney Dressler –
I’m a fellow counselor, so I may be a little biased, but this book is a must read. It’s relatable and a therapeutic read anyone could relate to.
Hanna Clarke –
I whipped through this book, it was a really fun and interesting read. It touched on and gave great examples of many of the skills and techniques I’m currently learning.
However, even if I wasn’t a counselling student I would have loved this book. It’s got heart, humour, honesty and humility. I can’t recommend it enough!
MoniEckardt –
Este libro ha tenido muy buenas referencias en Inglaterra , USA y Alemania.
Dima –
Fantastic read, an incredible blend of theory and practice. I was touched by every story in the book. I highly recommend this book to all.
JGC –
Un libro molto interessante e che ti fa pensare parecchio a tante delle situazioni che accadono nella vita di tutti.
L’ho letto in pochi giorni, ben scritto e coinvolgente. Lo consiglio veramente