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Amazon.com: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People (Audible Audio Edition): Ramani Durvasula PhD, Ramani Durvasula PhD, Penguin Audio: Audible Books &…
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INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism
AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently?
As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
Deeply compassionate and revelatory, It’s Not You examines how narcissists hijack our wellbeing and offers a healing path forward. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching, and helping clients navigate the landscape of narcissism, Dr. Durvasula unpacks the oft-misunderstood personality, showing how to identify the telltale signs that you may be dealing with a narcissist and protect yourself from their toxic influence. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep us stuck in these cycles, grieve the losses, create realistic boundaries, learn the fine art of discernment, and recover your sense of self after years of invalidation.
Healing and thriving after or even during a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but it is possible. It’s Not You shows that the first step is to stop trying to change the narcissistic person, stop blaming yourself, and start giving yourself permission to foster your autonomy and sense of self outside of this relationship.
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Amazon.com: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People (Audible Audio Edition): Ramani Durvasula PhD, Ramani Durvasula PhD, Penguin Audio: Audible Books &…
Ashley Skidmore –
I just received my much anticipated copy of Dr. Ramani’s new book with the beautifully designed cover encasing it (surprisingly gorgeous in person lol). I am super excited and grateful! This hard work of knowledge, experience, research, wisdom, and perspective is from an incredibly empathic, beautiful, and genius doctor that I highly trust and relate with. Have followed, been taught, and reading her books and materials for a couple years now. This book is beyond needed, validating, fascinating, and instrumental for healing in a time that has long been darkening and losing many to madness, selfishness, sinfulness, egocentric, confusing, painful, abusive, and toxic dynamics everywhere! Victimization and victimhood to extremes. Glorified and normalized even!!! But the many struggling and suffering are all too real and piling up! Whether work or personal relationships, marriages, families, children, friends Dr. Ramani has our back, our front, mind, heart, body, and welp the whole … covered. Leading us out of fog and confusion. Out of codependency, trauma bonds, cogitive dissonance, gaslighting, abuse, and everything in between, into light and freedom with reassuring truth, reason, autonomy, strength, and clarity to start and continue your healing. That each and every one of us needs and deserves! Those who seek find, those who find and live in truth are set free! I praise and thank the Lord Jesus Christ for Dr. Ramani’s excellent work and personhood that has helped me peel back the layers upon layers of my own pain and trauma, while learning to navigate the complex world around others who may never do their own work. From narcissists, the toxic, the wounded and unhealed, the flying monkeys, and the blind and ignorant I personally refuse to be a victim or perpetrator of pain any longer! Thank you Dr. Ramani! And thank you to every living soul, still breathing and fighting their fight in life, desiring peace and healing, deliverance out of and away from darkness and pain! You are loved, of such value and worth, more precious and strong than you know!!! ❤️🔥❤️🩹🧹⚔️✝️🙌💪💞🤺
D H –
As a doc, I can’t think of a better “script” than empowerment. Both Dr. Ramani & Dr. Lindsay have devoted their professional lives to enhancing others. While changing other people is usually out of our hands, both works provide great insight as well as the what-to-do when we discover narcissism (in this book) or emotional immaturity (in Lindsay’s books) in one or more of the adults in our daily life. At first glance the two may appear the same. They are not! And you will probably find both kinds of people. I hope you avail yourself with both sets of “tools.” To your health, Cheryl
D. M. Solo –
i’ll add to the 5 star reviews – it’s incredible. if you think you may need to read something like this, definitely give this a shot. Worth it.
Em –
Thank you Dr for writing this book. After so many years dealing with what I no now is a nar. I’ve cut of being there supply. I watch you & listen to you on your programs & social media your a blessing! You have opened my eyes. This is a great read yet an educational lesson.
Ashley Skidmore –
I hope that anyone who has ever been the victim of narcissistic/antagonistic styles of abuse is able to get a copy of this book and read it. It’s incredibly powerful and gives clear, coherent explanations of the styles of abuse as well as how to avoid them and heal from them. So so thankful that I found Dr. Ramani!
Cliente Kindle –
I just finished reading It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, and I can say it is exceptionally well-written. The author uses clear and accessible language, making complex information about narcissistic personality disorder easier to understand and digest.
The book is particularly useful for those seeking to better understand the problem of narcissism and how it can affect personal relationships. The detailed explanations of the signs and dynamics of narcissistic disorder are enlightening and offer a comprehensive overview of how to recognize and deal with narcissistic individuals in one’s life.
Moreover, It’s Not You provides practical strategies for “saving oneself” and protecting one’s emotional well-being. The sections dedicated to recovery and healing are especially valuable, offering concrete advice and support for those trying to overcome difficult experiences with narcissistic people.
In summary, this book is a crucial read for anyone dealing with or trying to understand narcissistic personality disorder. The quality of the writing and the clarity of the language make it an excellent tool for those looking to improve their situation and move towards a healthier, more fulfilling life. I highly recommend it to anyone facing these challenges.
My books –
I literally want to re-read it. Dr. Ramani perfectly explains narcissism, makes you feel understood & validated, & gives you steps to heal. I couldn’t imagine a better book on this
Ann –
I love how Dr. Ramani gives us a panorama of narcissism and strategies to go healing. She is very well structured and explains things very clearly. A masterpiece by the world’s leading expert on narcissism. I highly recommend this book.
Bea –
If you have had dealings with a Narcissist in your life, it could be useful. It’s straightforward and practical, advancing many healing strategies. It’s such a challenging (and dark) topic to bring up with others that it felt good to me to read, to be able to engage with someone else (the author) without laying it on friends/acquaintances. I would say there is MORE on classic or overt narcissists, though vulnerable/covert get their due within the various headings also.
Amazon Customer –
I just have to say.. wow (in a good way)! I ordered this book after hearing Dr. Ramani talk about “mild narcissism”, and I wanted to get to know more about this to a clinical stand point, because I was sceptical about one of my friends who might have NPD, or some variant. After reading this not only did I get better insight/advice on terms of how to deal with the relationship between my close friend and I. I began to look inward, and found that a lot of what Dr. Ramani says about different sides of people, and the same situation that seems to perpetually repeat itself true to myself to a slight extent. It may just be something along the lines of “self diagnosing” myself with NPD or maybe I’m just overthinking, but regardless It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani is very clear and breaks down the different forms of Narcissism in a way that I’m sure everyone can understand with bulleted descriptions of the traits that Narcissists may possess, as well as stories that introduce new topics as you read along. It is definitely a 10/10 for me personally, and I hope this piece can reach many others as well if they are interested.
Kindle Customer –
A necessary book, the Author writes in a clear and accessible way, with a lot of technique and humanity. It is fundamental support for all survivors.
Sheryl –
Well written, helpful and an easier read than her other book ( Di you know who I am). Definitely worth reading more than once.
Erin –
Dr. Ramani’s book is the best resource on narcissism I’ve found so far, because it’s the first book I’ve read that focuses specifically on HELPING THE PERSON who has a narcissist in their life! Her book is not so much about understanding the narcissist and why they behave like that, but about how the narcissist’s behavior affects YOU!
You do learn a lot about narcissism, but this book focuses on YOUR hurts, YOUR crushed dreams, and YOUR need to be understood. Dr. Ramani has lived through what you are enduring, and she knows exactly what you are up against. She gives clear explanations and actionable strategies for coping, healing and detaching from a narcissist. She speaks with compassion and understanding, and clearly exposes the behaviors of the narcissist that are meant to slowly diminish your self-worth and independence. But most importantly, this book gives you HOPE! Hope for a better way of living, hope to finally claim, on your own terms, the authentic life you were meant to live!
Buy this book!!