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PRODUCT
A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
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Original price was: $30.00.$14.99Current price is: $14.99.
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“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”
Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles––a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”
Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn’t risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.
Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman’s race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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Categories: Women Writers
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A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
Price:
Original price was: $30.00.$14.99Current price is: $14.99.
TA –
I could not put this book down. I found myself wanting to highlight sentences and whole paragraphs. It was intense, beautiful, heartbreaking and liberating. It was a Rollercoaster ride I only hoped beyond all hope she came out a winner. In her liberation my heart held out hope for all women around the world. Highly reccomend.
Amazon Customer –
This book took my breath away. Tia writes with such clarity, such heartfelt connection to abused, subjugated women and the battle for autonomy and self awareness. As I read this book, I felt her pain, I agonized, I cried, I cheered! As a mother of a son who joined a high control religious group 10 years ago, I understood her life saving quest for her freedom. I recognized the evangelical commands and expectations. I respect and admire Tia’s parents as they allowed Tia her choices and then were there to help rescue her and the grandchildren. I hope one day I too can be a safe haven. This book is so important especially now with the political agenda that is upon us. Thank you Tia for your strength, for your courage and for your valuable insight in how to find yourself and give your children a life of possibilities! We are all in awe of you.
Richelle Schmitz –
I have followed Tia Levings for a few years on Instagram, and when she announced the publication of her memoir, I couldn’t wait to order and read it.
Levings begins her memoir detailing her childhood in Michigan, followed by a move to Florida, where her family joined a Baptist church. Believing that she will find acceptance by God and her community by more strictly adhering to the tenets of her church, she shrugs off most “worldly” things and doubles-down on her beliefs. She marries a man she believes was the “perfect” mate chosen for her by God, and spends the next several years raising a family of five and suffering emotional, mental, psychological and physical abuse from her husband. If you are familiar with the Quiverfull movement, or any of the strict fundamentalist Christian churches where women wear dresses pilfered from “Little House on the Prairie” and men are in charge of EVERYTHING — this is the type of life Levings and her family lived. She clearly shows how this insular Christian environment, through family structure, sermons preached from the pulpit, and a vast enterprise of fundamentalist books and homeschool curriculum, sanctioned and perpetuated domestic violence against women and children.
I struggled to read some of the chapters, not because of the writing (which was incredibly engaging and moving), but because of the abuse she endured at the hands of her husband. I had to set the book down for a day or two after reading a chapter because I was so simultaneously full of rage and tears.
Fortunately, Levings was able to craft a writing and blogging career online. The freedom she found from earning her own money, along with her online community of friends and listening to her intuition in an effort to protect her children, resulted in her and her children’s escape from her husband and their father. Later chapters detail her life after she left, and the steps she took to heal from the abuse and create a healthy life for herself and her kids.
Levings’ memoir is truly a story of hope, strength, resilience, and the power of listening to one’s inner self. Recently on her IG, she posted that the evangelical fundamentalism she believed in “talked a lot about freedom in Christ. The trouble was, it never felt free.” I can attest that I, as a former Christian, also never felt truly free in Christ. Her brave story shows how damaging fundamentalist Christianity is, which is a message that is sorely needed as the United States increasingly marches toward becoming a theocracy instead of a democratic republic.
Amazon Customer –
This story is so balanced – showing horror and hope at the same time. I am in awe that Tia had the courage to write her story and grateful that it is now there as a warning.
Meagan J –
A Well-Trained Wife, My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings is an honest and gripping story about Tia’s experience growing up in a church with fundamental teachings that led to an abusive marriage at a young age. The book walks you through her journey of breaking free and how she bravely sought health and healing. This memoir is a page-turner that evokes a range of emotions. I felt deeply saddened by the abuse and heartache she endured, but I also felt a sense of joy as she discovered her own thoughts, her own voice, and the freedom to become her true self.
One particularly piercing quote, “I wanted a Self. I wanted to heal. To become a non-reactive adult who no longer felt pressured to obey someone’s rules in order to be loved.” I connected with her longing to break free of oppression and reclaim autonomy.
This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand how patriarchal systems can lead to the abuse of women and how our society, churches included, needs to listen to women and create safe spaces for them to share their experiences without fear of judgment or retribution.
Tia’s courage in sharing her story is a beacon of light and hope for countless others who can relate.
RoseGardener –
Not my life experience, but Tia Levings brings the reader into her life experiences for better and worse. It is amazing to me that her experiences are lived through by many women in this country. It seems so wrong! It was a quick read with powerful words.
Dutch –
Even as a man, I can’t help but identify with Tia‘s situation. I survived 35 years in a high demand religion one of the hallmarks of leaving such a cult is that they try to take away your dignity as part of the process. Tia didn’t really let that happen. The horrific abuse, both mental and physical are sad trademarks of religious cults. Her present mindedness allowed her to make the right decisions at the right times. Ultimately she had to flee. This book recounts her history and is well written.
Danisa clarke –
I met Tia online in 2020 during my own deconstruction. I knew only snippets of her story before this book , her story is one of strength and hope and she gives women escaping abusive religious systems and relationships a place of acknowledgement and rest.