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All the Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians

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“A rollicking, unexpectedly affecting story. . . It’s going to be one of the big, buzzy Beltway books of the year.”
—Politico

A bridge-burning, riotous memoir by a top PR operative in Washington who exposes the secrets of the $129-billion industry that controls so much of what we see and hear in the media—from a man who used to pull the strings, and who is now pulling back the curtain.

After nearly two decades in the Washington PR business, Elwood wants to come clean, by exposing the dark underbelly of the very industry that’s made him so successful. The first step is revealing exactly what he’s been up to for the past twenty years—and it isn’t pretty.

Elwood has worked for a murderer’s row of questionable clients, including Gaddafi, Assad, and the government of Qatar. In All the Worst Humans, Elwood unveils how the PR business works, and how the truth gets made, spun, and sold to the public—not shying away from the gritty details of his unlikely career.

This is a piercing look into the corridors of money, power, politics, and control, all told in Elwood’s disarmingly funny and entertaining voice. He recounts a four-day Las Vegas bacchanal with a dictator’s son, plotting communications strategies against a terrorist organization in Western Africa, and helping to land a Middle Eastern dictator’s wife a glowing profile in Vogue on the same time the Arab Spring broke out. And he reveals all his slippery tricks for seducing journalists in order to create chaos and ultimately cover for politicians, dictators, and spies—the industry-secret tactics that led to his rise as a political PR pro.

Along the way, Phil walks the halls of the Capitol, rides in armored cars through Abuja, and watches his client lose his annual income at the roulette table. But as he moved up the ranks, he felt worse and worse about the sleaziness of it all—until Elwood receives a shocking wake-up call from the FBI. This risky game nearly cost Elwood his life and his freedom. Seeing the light, Elwood decides to change his ways, and his clients, and to tell the full truth about who is the worst human.

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All the Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians

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8 reviews for All the Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians

  1. Robert Price

    This is a fascinating insight to the murky world of “The Swamp” aka DC politics. I will never read another news article again without wondering who planted it and what agenda it serves. Shady international deals, espionage, a love story, and the blurred effects of an alcoholic drug addled mind all blend to make a delicious cocktail of a story. My advice to the author: keep writing!

  2. Sean Dawson

    Great read. Quick and exacting prose. Loved it. Make more.

  3. funseeker

    Somewhat interesting, but written in a stream of events writing style that quickly becomes tedious. The author needs to take a breath once in a while.

  4. Amazon Customer

    This is an entertaining read – laced with self-condescending humor and “in-the-trenches” insight. Please allow me to put it another way: public relations professors (yes, they do exist) will discourage you from reading this. Not because of the author’s diabolical clientele; rather the very nature of what PR really is. You have the PR bureaucrats, who really don’t do anything substantive (although when they go to trendy bars after work they’ll act like they do) and somehow create a “money-suck” industry, and then you have the PR operatives who live by the notion the only thing that matters are results; the rest is just conversation. Elwood is the latter, and he paid a heavy price for it. And the journey is what makes this book a great one. Additionally, the writing style is surprisingly refreshing. It’s taut, at the same time smooth. You can tell, however, that a PR person wrote it because it’s sloppy at times. For example: “[Journalists] take risks to leak stories that check the power of the rich and powerful.” Yeah, that’s redundant as it is understood the “powerful” have “power.” Maybe the publisher’s editor is a PR person. Ha! A joke! (The author would find it funny at least)

  5. Izzy

    Well written, entertaining and good for killing time. Spin machine works exactly as it’s written here. But hard to say if it’s really interesting. It’s like saying much and at the same time saying nothing. Anyway, it has interesting cases, a frank description of private life but something is missing. After the revelations of Cambridge Analytics and election interference scandals it all looks out-of-date. Maybe bc working for dictators is easy. 80% of the job is done when you accept the offer. Your efficiency is smth obscure. You can’t do anything at all. And it’s also being described at the book

  6. Anonymous

    I bought this book after reading the NYT review, thinking I’d tackle it over the 4th of July weekend. Like Chris Buckley who said in his blurb that he couldn’t put it down, I couldn’t either and devoured it within hours of starting it. Elwood writes with the force of Hemingway and the acerbic wit of David Sedaris. Over the top review? Perhaps, but this book is that good! Kate Grant

  7. Brandon Warren

    I loved it! An honest review. I have several personal disagreements with the author and his approach to certain things, but that did not change my opinion that the book is great.

    The writing style kept me glued. Turning the page, wanting to get through the next chapter, laughing and cringing. It reads almost like a comedic, spy, thriller mixed with a bomb dropping tell-all. I can’t say that it was super eye opening for me because he confirms many things that I already firmly believe are happening. But to some, the types of manufacturing and purposely placing or withholding of information to and from the press, may come as a shock to their personal beliefs.

    The story even comes with a little romance and some decent long term friends. Preston is my favorite! He reminds me of a mix between Dale Gribble, from King of the Hill and myself. Definitely a guy to keep in your corner. ~Preston “They’ve got the FBI. You don’t even own a gun, for some reason that I cannot fathom and will not attempt to.”

    I love that he includes his own personal struggles to help guide the narrative and better understand the authors own mindset while he takes readers along a journey of deceit and media manipulation at his own hand for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians. (Reader Beware) Profanity and drug use are throughout.

    My only personal issue is one with a choice that the author made in life, not in the writing of this book. Which is why I still give it 5 stars. The book itself is fantastic. The author just used the last couple of chapters to talk about a b***h move that he did because he was upset at someone else that all of the wrongdoings he has done for others, could come back to bite him. So he wanted to virtue signal for his wife and her friends who are “all decent human beings that think they are saving the world,” and threw someone else to the wolves so he could feel better. That just makes him a silly goose and not a bad writer.

    Overall, I strongly recommend this book to anyone with the thought of reading it. If you think the topic would be an interesting read, it is!

  8. Tania

    I didn’t know what to expect when I started reading this. Really gives you insight into a different world, I had no clue about. Easy to ready and entertaining.

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